Phil and Sharyn's tips for a shopping trip to Ikea.
1. Take one of the big bags offered at reception when
you first arrive. Don't fool yourself into thinking you
won't need one, you will. When you start dropping your
bundle of tealights and groovy napkins all over the
floor the bags will be nowhere to be seen.
2. Find yourself a mini pencil and order form. Even if
you don't want to order anything it helps Ikea count
their visitors at the end of the day.
3. Do not attempt the store visit alone if you are
currently between relationships. The sight of smug
couples measuring up new furniture to feather their
nests will only drive you deeper into a state of
4. Try before you buy. Ikea fit out their restaurants
completely with their kit. Makes sense and you get to
experience the slight wobble in the table before you
home. The meatballs are great and subsidized like any
good proletariat idea should be.
5. Make sure you take someone else with you. This is
not only for solidarity (see above) but because Ikea
don't allow you to wheel their trolleys out into the
carpark. Someone will need to stand and wait with the
goods while you back the car up to the loading zone.
We suggest you take a someone who is good at spacial
mathematics as you are going to need them when
working out how to get all the flat packs into the
And our final tip. Don't buy the meatballs in the food
the way out, they never taste as good when you cook
them at home.